Security

I read somewhere that children younger than 12 do not run away from home. There is something about turning 12 that triggers a realization that you can survive without a parent. I'm not sure what it is like to have only one parent from birth on like my grandson . I Jim know that he has always wished he had a Daddy. But I think he has felt secure. My father left my Mom and 4 1/2 kids when I was 4. I saw him once in a while. I have come to understand that that seemly small change in my life really had a profound affect my sense of security. My young brain figured out that if one parent could leave, nothing was stopping the other from leaving. My former secure world just collapsed. In my child's mind, I thought if I did everything the remaining parent wished, I could keep her from leaving too. I was quite set up to consider her needs more important than my own. I was no longer an innocent child. This same fear of abandonment was in place when I married at 19 [3 months pregnant]. I thought my husband's needs were more important than my own. [My husband made sure I knew who's needs were more important] Since I did not want my child to suffer the same fate as I did, I stayed in a marriage that was not in my best interest. When my son turned 12 he asked me to divorce his father. Four years later when my daughter turn 12, and not knowing that her brother had asked, she asked me to divorce her father. Here's hoping that TJ has a secure life!